The Promise of Maybe

In December we were blindsided with the news that our worst fear had come true. Mike had been passed over for promotion. It was a shock since he wasn't actually supposed to be up for Major for another year, but thanks to a dramatic downsizing in the military they looked at a larger pool of people, thus promoting many less than usual and dooming the rest for "terminal" status.

He does have another shot at promotion next year, but we're not very hopeful. His dad, a retired Two Star Admiral in the Navy has lots of connections, so we're getting everyone and their brother with any kind of status to write letters of recommendations for Mike's file. It's a last ditch effort. None of us has any idea if it will work.

And as time passes, I don't know if I want it to work.

Mike is pretty worried about the future. Much more worried than I am, which is very strange. I imagine it would be pretty tough for him - feeling like all the pressure to have a viable income is on his shoulders. To be honest, it really is. I don't plan to go back to work until these kids are old enough for pre-school and since one of them is still cooking in my tummy, well, that's a while down the road yet.

Yesterday, Mike texted me what the voluntary separation incentive pay is for his rank. He's an officer but not eligible for retirement yet. Thanks to their attemps at downsizing the military is desperate to get rid of him and others like him. The voluntary separation incentive is more zeroes than either of us has ever seen on any check made out in our names, I'll just say that. If we wait until we find out that Mike indeed did NOT make Major again (assuming that's what we'll find out come December) that separation pay halves. It's still a nice chunk of change, but it's half of what we could get if we just cut our losses.

I was thinking about it today quite a bit and I'm not sure entirely what the reason is, but the thrill of the nomadic lifestyle has really run out for me. I yearn to put down some roots - real, long-term, deep roots. I desperately desire to be near my family. Maybe I'm done with this military life. Maybe that voluntary separation incentive is just enough for me to say, SCREW financial security and Mike being able to retire at 42. I'm ready to get out of this world, and I'm ready now!

I know it's a really tough economy out there right now, but Mike has set his heart on law enforcement, and with his military background, I really feel that he has it in the bag. That and he can charm the pants off anybody, so I know he'll kill it in an interview. I'm really not very worried about him finding a job. Yes, we will take a HUGE paycut. Probably by half. So there are many things to consider...

But.. thanks to the wake-up call in December we have really scrambled and gotten our financial situation in pretty good working order. Everything is paid off except for our wretched HOUSE in San Diego and my measly little student loan (which will be the last loan I ever consider paying off bc it is NOTHING. thanks mom and dad!!!!!). But with our pretty separation incentive, a free place to live in Maryland (for a while anyway - thanks to Mike's parents and his aunt and uncle for hanging on to Grandma's house after she passed away), and if Mike continues on in the reserves I think we will have just enough to make it work. Then we just need to hang on long enough for the housing market to go up (just a little bit? please? for the love of GOD!!) and we can unload our San Diego house, hopefully for a decent profit...

I'll go back to school using the GI bill and be ready to start a career when pre-school time starts for these youngins....

and... maybe it will work.
Maybe.